This is one of the most dynamic conversations you will have throughout life. The participants, including yourself, will be constantly evolving. Pitfalls are inevitable. There will be pain. But, surpassing all that, you will experience connections and this my love, is priceless. The data stream, speed and coverage of each relationship is in your hands.
Make good choices. Learn from each ‘ship’ sail and keep bouncing back. Do not sink. This is a long cruise and there is a lot ahead of you. Check in with yourself frequently to see you are in a healthy space and lean into this post for a hug.
- The key to a healthy relationship starts with you. Have a good relationship with you. That is the best place to start. Treat yourself right, nurture with love, respect and kindness. Take yourself out on dates. When you care for yourself, you set the tone of voice for your engagement with others and their relations with you.
- Relationship is an investment and like traditional investments, each relationship comes with risk profiles and returns. Take your time, understand the portfolios, their trends and exposures before you invest. Not all investments are measured in money. Time, love, youth, career, they all count. Do not rush. This is not a race. You set your own time table. Consult others and elders if you must for guidance, but the decision must rest with you.
- Some relationships are time bound and some last a life time. This is inevitable as we are all evolving. Note that each relationship is special and comes to you at different phases of your life. Every person you connect with has something to share, either something new or an aspect about yourself you need to know. Pair yourself with your matching socks.
- Learn from experiences, your own and others. Take caution from the learnings but do not print the unpleasant experiences of others into your frame. Building a wall around you does not shield you, it makes you distant and disconnected. Everybody’s journey and life path is different. If your friend has a cheating spouse, it does not mean that the person you are in a relationship with will cheat on you. However, if someone is cheating on another whilst being with you, the odds are high that they could cheat on you whilst being with another.
- Do not make excuses for another. I love the movie ‘He’s Just Not That Into You’. If the person did not return your call, it does not mean, they are busy all the time, most times it just means, they did not want to call you back. Instead of lounging by the phone and checking incessantly for messages, use the time to do something concrete for yourself.
- Everyone has a different love language. Dr. Gary Chapman has shared with us that there are 5 love languages – Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. Know yours and learn to understand others. This will guide you to communicate and invest effectively. Take the quiz with you and significant other(s). https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/
- Be in a relationship for the right reasons, because you want to be in it.
Sharing some of my favourite quotes on relationships:
“Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.” ~ Carl Jung
“The best thing to spend on your relationship is time, conversation, understanding and honesty.” ~ curiano.com
“What’s highest and best for you is always what’s highest and best for everyone around you.” ~ Marie Forleo
Love and hugs,