MY mom in law said something beautiful to me yesterday which inspired this post. She said ‘Whenever I speak with you, I start laughing. It’s like magic.’ What a sweet thing to say. Of course it got me smiling, but it also made me think about how we make others feel and how we feel around others.

We apply filters to our social media pictures, conscious of our appearance and wanting to attract the maximum amount of likes and reactions. However, we do not invest the similar time, effort and attention with ourselves to filter the negative and non-constructive things and people that surround us or whom we keep as company. That aside, we also do not check in to consider the vibes we are passing on to others. Checking in is akin to a risk assessment – the difference being, instead of gazing into the future, we are looking at the present to assess the good, the bad and the things to be kept in check.

How do we go about this? Below are some personal reflections which I like to share and if you have others, please share them in the comments.

Who to check in with?

Check in with yourself. Ask yourself how you are feeling and how do you feel around person A. We are so busy worrying about the well being of others that we forget ourselves. Even on flights, the safety announcement requires you to attend to yourself first before tending to others. So, make you a priority – you always deserve the best service.

What to check in about?

There are so many areas, for example, finances, emotions, habits, hobbies, physiology, music. Pick one part that defines you and gradually increase the areas or as the famous corporate lingo goes, take a deep dive into other aspects of the chosen area to get a better insight of yourself. If you have a hard time deciding, write down a few choices on several pieces of paper, squish them up and select one from the pile.

Where to check in?

To me, comfort is key but any place that suits you and makes you comfortable. Most of my check ins are in front of the mirror as I am getting ready. The mirror is one of the best teachers. It does not lie (except for the slimming ones near the department store changing rooms). It nudges you to search for answers and awaits to display the results. My other favourite places are at my breakfast table whilst having my morning coffee, in the prayer room and on the yoga mat. Sometimes, I also have a check in during my me times.

How often to check in?

For me, I’ve built this as part of a few daily routines, so if I miss it the first round, I’ll catch it at the next. Always give yourself a second chance, another opportunity. Other ways would be to schedule a recurring appointment in your diaries or calendar based on the frequency that best suits you.

The key is to check in : with yourself, about something that defines you, at regular intervals and to action on it. Invest your time in this and attract the best there is for you!